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Christians who read their Bibles know that Christians
must date and direct their love life differently than the world
does. If you use a Christian dating service, you can do that.
Otherwise, you may find yourself confronting difficulties and
succumbing to temptation
That means you should date a Christian, not a non-Christian
(we shouldn't be unequally yoked). Also, don't let the world influence
your courtship period. The Bible is quite clear that premarital
sex (fornication) is a sin. If you use a Christian dating service,
you'll be able to find a man or woman who understands that.
If you'll indulge me for a minute, before I get to the links
to christian dating services, I'd like to tell you my story.
I did it all wrong. Before I got saved, I was dating and fornicating
with a non-Christian woman. I fully intended to marry her if everything
kept going well. I didn't find out til later that intending to
marry is the natural rationalization we use when we feel guilty
and insecure about the sex without committment.
Even after getting saved, I couldn't bring myself to stop it.
I thought about confronting Lynda, but as well as I knew her (and
myself), I didn't think our relationship would survive if we stopped
having sex. I still think that a man and woman, whether dating
or married, must be on the same page in terms of values and beliefs.
Then we went through an incredibly difficult period in which
all our fears and selfishness fought with one another. I prayed
like a madman for about 10 days, 2-3 hours each day. I prayed
for her, for me, for us, for God's will, guidance and wisdom,
and so on.
Not long after that, she went to the
Rock Church with me, and she got saved the third time we went.
Immediately - that night driving home - we decided to stop having
sex. We went celibate together for 9 months before getting married.
It was beautiful. I'll tell you why.
Men need to learn the difference between love and lust,
between the will to love and the will to have sex, between affection
and love. We did a lot of snuggling.
Women need to know that the man is not just there for sex.
Women know that no matter how beautiful they are, they'll get
old- how can they feel secure with a man who only wants her for
physical reasons? And no matter what you tell her, if you're having
sex with her, she'll always wonder.
I believe this experience of celibacy together and both being
Christians are the foundation stones of our good marriage. And
I thank God for it. But I wouldn't advise anyone try it that way
on purpose. A spiritual
mismatch can assure you of a life long trial, not a blessed
partnership.
NOW, if I were single, I would use a Christian dating service,
if I couldn't find someone in my own Church. And you should, too.
Here are some links:
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